It just wasn't a thing when I was a kid but the profile fits and also explains a lot of behaviours in my entire life and my personal relationships.
Mrs George and I were taking about exactly this on Sunday. Her grandfather was described as having a 'nervous disposition' and had numerous breakdowns, but if you talked to him about cricket he was all in. Her mother was best described as the snooty librarian type to those who didn't know her, and if you didn't meet her expectations she had no time for you, just ask Mrs George. Fortunately my own dysfunctional relationship with my parents taught me to not stress about the inlaws, so I hung around long enough to be accepted. And then Man-child arrived and grew up and was diagnosed autistic and all the pieces fell in to place. Grandpa, Mum, Mrs George, my step daughter, Man-Child, we tracked the pattern way back.
The shitty part about it all is even as soon as back in the mid-90s there is little to no understanding about what it is or how it works. Mrs George tore her hair out trying to get her daughter to tie her laces in less than 30 minutes. The finished lengths had to match or she would take everything off, including her socks that also had to be perfectly matched, and start again. Mrs George gave up trying to get help, she kept getting told there was nothing wrong.
And as the outsider there was no way Mrs George's mum wasn't wired differently. Mrs George was constantly told she was too fat. She was told she was going to uni to study law because "I was never allowed to do that." To the point Mrs George actually did do a year of law before she realised it wasn't what she wanted to do. I dont think Mum's behaviour would've changed all that much, but as Mrs George said, it might have made her realise Mrs George wasn't the waste of effort mum thought she was.
And I pointed out to Mrs George they're was no way in hell she wasn't on the spectrum somewhere. The quirks, the habits, the difficulty in coping with certain situations. We're actually leaning towards ADHD now. It kinda fits better, and the school councillor told us the medical peoples are starting to realise autism and ADHD are much closer linked than previously thought.
So the main hold up is it took 2 mths to get an appointment to see them and the day before UI got Covid for the first time ever - Next appointment isnt until August 2 and then no Psychiatrists available until Feb 2024.
We have the same problem down here. And every Tom, Dick and can't cope with life Steve are clogging the system hoping to get a diagnosis so their life "makes sense again". Even my f-wit father has climbed on that gravy train
It may mean nothing more than knowing or it may mean medication or it may mean other coping mechanisms.
Even just knowing will make a shit-ton of difference. And then you'll start looking at stuff and other related things will pop up and one day there will be a scratching of a direction to follow.
Finally, you are NOT alone with this. PM me.