Black Dogs and mental shit in general

[rextheute]

My input is not much , but a couple of short sharp sticks in the eye remind you that

‘ Everyman needs a shed or some time to themselves ‘

its not selfish , it is required even if just to decompress and stare into space
( my dad and mum are older and recently lost their doggo- dad says yeah , I really miss talking to him every day when we went for walk )
Dog person or not - it’s good to verbalise some things .
( obviously not I’m gonna murder that fkn neighbour hahahah )

Life is short , you don’t get a second go around , I understand and appreciate that dollars are needed to get on .
But the one thing you can give back to your family is time ‘ be present’ whatever it takes - if you have told your partner ‘ back home by 4 , be there at 4 .

I have only recently understood the value of this as I would happily go out on my bike for a day - which came to head as my offsider said , just tell me when you will be back ‘
in my mind it wasn’t an issue - but to others it was - communicate even if it’s an uncomfortable convo.

Sometimes to be scared and upset is good , it helps to focus you on what exactly is required to move thru that fear , irrational / perceived , doesn’t matter .

Accept help if offered , most friends won’t always offer it up ,but if they do it by all means accept , pay it forward .

Be afraid , embrace it , tell ya wife I love you , hug your kids / chat to the dog

 

[Rorschach]

Another update, 4 weeks on the increased dose.
I'm seeing a sustained increase to my focus at work and at home, and a bit more motivation for stuff. I can sit at my desk and churn through stuff for a good 2-3 hours before I realise I have to take a piss or something - I certainly take less notice of the clock! I still flit between things a little but can generally stay on task better than before.
Definitely not seen the drop-off I did on the lower dose, and the lunchtime dexy bump is helping, but that wears off relatively quickly.
My frustration is still there, especially in the evenings with the kids but for the most part there's still an improvement.
I don't see the Psychiatrist again until mid-May so hopefully things keep on track!

Oh, a decent side effect is I've also dropped 3kg (so far) on the Dexy diet. Gym has been non-existent for the last couple of months and I haven't made any wholesale changes other than I don't seem to crave food as much as I did. A few people have commented, which is a boost to my self esteem.
The wife asked if I'd weighed myself and when I looked, the numbers on the scales were heading towards 100kg, which I haven't seen in a while.
I am drinking heaps of water though, seems to be the one thing I'm craving, which can't be a bad thing.

 

[Rorschach]

Another update, 4 weeks on the increased dose.
I'm seeing a sustained increase to my focus at work and at home, and a bit more motivation for stuff. I can sit at my desk and churn through stuff for a good 2-3 hours before I realise I have to take a piss or something - I certainly take less notice of the clock! I still flit between things a little but can generally stay on task better than before.
Definitely not seen the drop-off I did on the lower dose, and the lunchtime dexy bump is helping, but that wears off relatively quickly.
My frustration is still there, especially in the evenings with the kids but for the most part there's still an improvement.
I don't see the Psychiatrist again until mid-May so hopefully things keep on track!

Oh, a decent side effect is I've also dropped 3kg (so far) on the Dexy diet. Gym has been non-existent for the last couple of months and I haven't made any wholesale changes other than I don't seem to crave food as much as I did. A few people have commented, which is a boost to my self esteem.
The wife asked if I'd weighed myself and when I looked, the numbers on the scales were heading towards 100kg, which I haven't seen in a while.
I am drinking heaps of water though, seems to be the one thing I'm craving, which can't be a bad thing.

Another update a fortnight later
Things are much as they were before - smashing through work at work to the point where I forget to drink my coffee while it's hot, or go for a piss for a few hours. Task tension is good and I'm not actively looking for distractions - like the biscuit fridge.
Stuff about frustration is still relevant, which is good from a level where I find it manageable.
I am pretty fidgety when I'm sat still not doing anything - I was just at the barbers and it was pretty noticeable I had to tap my fingers or something - I think it's more I need to be doing something or focus on something more than anything.
I am pretty thirsty, which means my water consumption is up (when I remember...), most noticeable when I'm driving to work and my mouth is dry!

Oh, and jumped on the scales this morning to see it reading 99.7kg, which is the first time I've been sub-100kg in about 5 years. No wonder my watch is feeling loose and my belt has run out of notches...
Good feeling.

 

[Jabubu]

Another update a fortnight later
Things are much as they were before - smashing through work at work to the point where I forget to drink my coffee while it's hot, or go for a piss for a few hours. Task tension is good and I'm not actively looking for distractions - like the biscuit fridge.
Stuff about frustration is still relevant, which is good from a level where I find it manageable.
I am pretty fidgety when I'm sat still not doing anything - I was just at the barbers and it was pretty noticeable I had to tap my fingers or something - I think it's more I need to be doing something or focus on something more than anything.
I am pretty thirsty, which means my water consumption is up (when I remember...), most noticeable when I'm driving to work and my mouth is dry!

Oh, and jumped on the scales this morning to see it reading 99.7kg, which is the first time I've been sub-100kg in about 5 years. No wonder my watch is feeling loose and my belt has run out of notches...
Good feeling.

Awesome! I've gone the opposite way, I've been feeling a bit down and eating as a result, coupled with no riding and food has been my companion. It feels like today is the first day of winter (that might change) but it'll soon be time to get riding again!

I wanted to today but I'm recovering from a bout of getting old but I'm looking to start setting some riding targets for May and June.