You know how it is when the weather and your time has been poor and you really have to do something about replacing the tyre sealant and you have been incredibly lazy and haven't been out for a ride for quite a while? And the day looks great so you snap out of your apathy and get hot and sweaty and fix the couple of things on the bike and then decide fuck it I have time for a decent ride? And you get stuck into it even though your fitness is way off and that means you grind it out in the saddle rather than stand up and get the job done? And when you find yourself about 15km from home and you realise saddle soreness is a genuine thing? So you ride home, each km, then each 100m then each metre creates new levels of anxiety about what has happened down there? So you shed your gear and jump into the shower and clean everything down only to realise that the combination of hot water and the long-chain alkyl group of your choice has made things exponentially worse? The only thing you can do is drag out something soothing from the big box of special medications hidden in the walk in? Even now walking those 3 metres brings the eyes to the verge of tears and it takes way too long to switch on a light and those white tubes of comfort are all the same yes?
THEY FUCKING ARENT.