Confessions from the fuckwits

[mellow]

cows.

That one was a Pantah ( ladies' bike ), with no starter motor, indicators, air filters ( well a bit of mesh ), no seat foam.
It was the bike ( and fuckwit ) that infamously had the pigs shut down the Burdekin bridge on Easter Friday, in hope to catch idiot that had done a runner 50 miles back. Flooding North queensland, dirt road flat trackin escape through cane paddocks.
Got painted that day, leaned up against a pumping staition with red aerosol, the local newspaper ( from the only thing open, the fish and chip shop ), and electrical tape.
Made the cane toad rally at about 2 in the morning. Rode through the creek. flooded. front cylinder not quite a water pump, but definitely under water.
My mate in the morning is kickin' me in the foot, going fuck off cunt, didn't know it was me.
Couldn't believe I wasn't in Jail.
Another mate had his K100 bmw upside down in a "puddle". Had to fish around for it. It started, and continued on to Phillip Island 2 up.
Did bears events in their day. Got hosed by a guy on ES2 Norton, after we pulled ourselves out of the hay bales.

Later darmah, 2 750 gts , yes roundcases and immaculate. ( about the only things I really wish I still had. fell in love, got married etc. ). Guzzi lemans 3. turboed big Jappa. many pigs. couple modern r1200gs bmw. W/c.

Pushrod Honda cub 70 when we were 16. best motorcycle ever made. 3 up around Mission beach. 40 of turkey and an oz of medicinal.

Crazy kids. we laughed.

Years later, my mate met a lady one Saturday evening.
Next morning, suggested a ride from Cairns to Port Douglas.
No spare helmet. No worries. He did and return with an ice cream bucket wired to his head. On a Ural. ( actually a Dnieper, but not many know the difference. ) True fucking story.

I rode an Mz 250 etz, WHAT ???? you ask. from Normanton to Mareeba helmetless.
Idiot, evening before, drunk as ten men, thought he might enjoy the breeze in his face, lost the helmet ocky strapped on.
Wind and sunburn and just plain pathetic really.

I could go on but best told over beer and barby.
My mate will make you piss when you hear about copper chopper full camo raid when he lived in deliverance country. He didn't even get up from his cup of coffee. His pet goat caused one guy back to the chopper. They didn't even share their sandwiches.

Grown up now. Thank God we survived.

 

[stirk]

That one was a Pantah ( ladies' bike ), with no starter motor, indicators, air filters ( well a bit of mesh ), no seat foam.
It was the bike ( and fuckwit ) that infamously had the pigs shut down the Burdekin bridge on Easter Friday, in hope to catch idiot that had done a runner 50 miles back. Flooding North queensland, dirt road flat trackin escape through cane paddocks.
Got painted that day, leaned up against a pumping staition with red aerosol, the local newspaper ( from the only thing open, the fish and chip shop ), and electrical tape.
Made the cane toad rally at about 2 in the morning. Rode through the creek. flooded. front cylinder not quite a water pump, but definitely under water.
My mate in the morning is kickin' me in the foot, going fuck off cunt, didn't know it was me.
Couldn't believe I wasn't in Jail.
Another mate had his K100 bmw upside down in a "puddle". Had to fish around for it. It started, and continued on to Phillip Island 2 up.
Did bears events in their day. Got hosed by a guy on ES2 Norton, after we pulled ourselves out of the hay bales.

Later darmah, 2 750 gts , yes roundcases and immaculate. ( about the only things I really wish I still had. fell in love, got married etc. ). Guzzi lemans 3. turboed big Jappa. many pigs. couple modern r1200gs bmw. W/c.

Pushrod Honda cub 70 when we were 16. best motorcycle ever made. 3 up around Mission beach. 40 of turkey and an oz of medicinal.

Crazy kids. we laughed.

Years later, my mate met a lady one Saturday evening.
Next morning, suggested a ride from Cairns to Port Douglas.
No spare helmet. No worries. He did and return with an ice cream bucket wired to his head. On a Ural. ( actually a Dnieper, but not many know the difference. ) True fucking story.

I rode an Mz 250 etz, WHAT ???? you ask. from Normanton to Mareeba helmetless.
Idiot, evening before, drunk as ten men, thought he might enjoy the breeze in his face, lost the helmet ocky strapped on.
Wind and sunburn and just plain pathetic really.

I could go on but best told over beer and barby.
My mate will make you piss when you hear about copper chopper full camo raid when he lived in deliverance country. He didn't even get up from his cup of coffee. His pet goat caused one guy back to the chopper. They didn't even share their sandwiches.

Grown up now. Thank God we survived.

Yep, FNQ is full of crazy nut jobs! My mum's from Babinda, I met few of FNQ's finest! I've spent a few balmy nights fangin an old cafe racer 850t Guzzi out to Bramston beach and back. Good times.

Love the pantah based tt2 reps. Should never have sold the round cases.

 

[eastie]

Yep, FNQ is full of crazy nut jobs! My mum's from Babinda, I met few of FNQ's finest! I've spent a few balmy nights fangin an old cafe racer 850t Guzzi out to Bramston beach and back. Good times.

Love the pantah based tt2 reps. Should never have sold the round cases.

View attachment 336707

you read all that!?

 

[stirk]

you read all that!?

Bwhahahaha, it hurt my brain a little but it's much easier reading a Queenslander 'talk' than listening to them talk.

 

[eastie]

I'd prefer to share a cord with david carridine

Bwhahahaha, it hurt my brain a little but it's much easier reading a Queenslander 'talk' than listening to them talk.

 

[schred]

Yep, FNQ is full of crazy nut jobs! My mum's from Babinda, I met few of FNQ's finest! I've spent a few balmy nights fangin an old cafe racer 850t Guzzi out to Bramston beach and back. Good times.

Love the pantah based tt2 reps. Should never have sold the round cases.

View attachment 336707

Your actual old bike?

And Mellow Bears are still racing club and national rounds zone way more than other series actually. Go find that bike!

 

[mellow]

Guzzi. The ragged edge of society.

I know but it was long ago, I was in love, and "other things were more important ".

Derek Fleming built a tt2, with fzr 1000 front end, 17 inch wheels, total loss ignition, full race Malossi carbed thang. Fettled it on the Gillies on Tuesdays.
As a teenager he was a regular Lakeside with a high piped 900ss. His uncle welded wear plates to the cases. It had no kick lever or shaft as they get ground away.

He also won the first ever " mountainbike " race in Cairns. Loved a laugh.

The Ranger at Paluma ( Sam ) used to have rags hangin' off of the tyres edges of his Mk1. over 30 years ago. I believe he still has it. Last I saw him on a red drum braked guzzi with fishtails. Way cool man.

 

[mellow]

OK last one.

Ok. you don't want to read stories from us old never has beens.

But. I dropped in to my see mate Donnie at his work on Friday.
Expected to see his fatboy in its' usual parking spot. ( yep, they're like assholes, everyone has them ).

BUT, he had ridden his absolutely original, immaculate, make you cry, silver and blue 900ss to work.

I honestly went and picked up my wife to come and see him start the fucker first kick. Not for sale for love or money. He has had it for maybe 30 years, and no one works on it but Donnie.

 

[stirk]

Your actual old bike?

And Mellow Bears are still racing club and national rounds zone way more than other series actually. Go find that bike!

I wish! I always want one.

All my photos got burnt in bush fire a while back, this is probably the closest image to what my 850t looked like, she had no indicators (not required by regs) and beautiful Swan neck clip ons and straight through pipes. Awesome bike and cool before cafe racer became a hipster thing.





What was the old Australian magazine called which featured​ old heavily modified bikes, had a huge Italian passion and everyone had shit done to their dukes by gowanloch. Was it called​ street bike?

 

[mellow]

Just one more.

Til the day she died, my mum ( love you mum ), had at least an m1 and 500 rounds at home.
She would ring me to come dispose of. Pigs, cats, dogs, goats. Whatever shouldn't have been there. Head shots with open sights.
My Mum was from Griffith. You know the era.

love you mum.

I do not own a firearm.

 

[stirk]

Ok. you don't want to read stories from us old never has beens.

But. I dropped in to my see mate Donnie at his work on Friday.
Expected to see his fatboy in its' usual parking spot. ( yep, they're like assholes, everyone has them ).

BUT, he had ridden his absolutely original, immaculate, make you cry, silver and blue 900ss to work.

I honestly went and picked up my wife to come and see him start the fucker first kick. Not for sale for love or money. He has had it for maybe 30 years, and no one works on it but Donnie.

Us fuckwits are polluting a sacred thread, take the conversation to project cars and motorbikes

 

[schred]

Looks sweet man, long and low, before that was cool too! No idea but the name rings a bell. Tbh I stopped buying mags a while back, did enjoy trawling the odd trader mag for a budget bullet, that's def worthy of a confession.

 

[Lazmo]

Hey Mellow,

Don’t get me wrong… I’m enjoying your read… a bit like Hunter.S.Thompson brings Fear and Loathing to RB… keep it up.

But I’ve had a few bikes over the last half century, and I have a couple of observations…

Firstly… the Pantah is no lady’s bike… back in the day, in the right hands it could wipe the floor with the opposition on the road in serious twisties… my 600 was my 3rd favourite bike ever. A mate and I did two laps of Tassie on our Pantahs and we were never passed… by anything.

As far as 750GTS roundcase goes… maybe i'm wrong, but it’s news to me… I think you mean GT. I had a ’73 750GT, a great bike. All GTS that I know of are square case 860.

Lastly, the Honda Cub is not usually pushrod, unless a super early model... but is OHC… and I’d say what you had was actually a Super Cub… still, OHC… but regardless, I agree, an awesome bike… my very first one on the farm, back in the 60’s.

Anyway, keep it up, but have you ever considered enlisting a Samoan attorney? eaceful:

Oh, here’s a pic of my TT2 I built… from my donor Pantah.

 

[mellow]

All cool man.

Thanks fellow. I am a newbie and a bit of a technophobe as well.
Promise I will move on.
The s on gts, meant plural.
I was bragging a little with the Honda. Yes that is ohc, but I have a pushrod, that is hung high in the shed, never seen the light of day.
They did make a 750 gt e. Yes it had an electric leg. Do not believe anyone who tells you this beast did not exist.
I knew a Scottish Australian dental man who at the time still owned couple 750s.
He and his sport are the one that lit up after hitting the wall at Surfers. That long ago.
The heads were methanolled out, then made non compliant for racing, and I think he lost interest. Nice man, helped me heaps.
Old and slow guys reliving the past, sometimes tend to have " treasure ", stashed up in the back shed.

As for fuckwit, years ago, up real early to drive to RRR at Mt molloy, removed rear wheel to put in car.
Hope hubs of that era allow the freehub body and cassette to fall off if you hold downwards. So it did.
And all 3 pawls fell into the gravel drive. One proved particularly hard to find.
Fuckwit.

If you know what a scout is, that's next. Older than both of us put together.

Enough ranting, off to the RSL.

 

[mellow]

oops.

Gather you like red. sweet thing.

 

[mellow]

Fear and Loathing.

If you like lunacy, in a light read, try Kinky Friedman, in sequence if possible.

Thanks for your direction.

 

[stirk]

Gather you like red. sweet thing.

Yep that TT2 is awesome, left testicle worthy even.

If you like lunacy, in a light read, try Kinky Friedman, in sequence if possible.

Thanks for your direction.

Not sure I get this at all, very random or way over my head.

 

[mellow]

wha ?

Old mate mention Fear and Loathing. novel by Hunter S Thompson.

If one has a penchant for the ridiculous, a Kinky Friedman paperback is one way to kill time on your next flight. Bill Clinton infamously played sax one evening, with the band " Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys ".
Of " they ain't makin' jews like Jesus anymore " fame.

If you have trouble sleeping, the answer is " Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance ". Never met anyone who has finished it.

As for wit.
Was showing the neighbourhood kids how to do stoppies. In spds. On bitumen.
Of course I've Catherine wheeled down the road.
Little smart arse yells out, " Hey old guy, do that again ! ".

 

[pink poodle]

Old mate mention Fear and Loathing. novel by Hunter S Thompson.

If one has a penchant for the ridiculous, a Kinky Friedman paperback is one way to kill time on your next flight. Bill Clinton infamously played sax one evening, with the band " Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys ".
Of " they ain't makin' jews like Jesus anymore " fame.

If you have trouble sleeping, the answer is " Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance ". Never met anyone who has finished it.

As for wit.
Was showing the neighbourhood kids how to do stoppies. In spds. On bitumen.
Of course I've Catherine wheeled down the road.
Little smart arse yells out, " Hey old guy, do that again ! ".

We call the old guys by the generic "pops" around here.

 

[flamin'trek]

Trying to repair some road bike shifters last night. Parts beyond simple repair, so attempted reassembly. Dropped a small spring too many times, one of which while searching managed to whack my head on something. Blood - not much, but blood. Next time, I'll try to remember to remove the soldering iron from the vice where I clamped it to cool down.