Your Help and Ideas Please - Questions to ask my Dad to better know him?

[mars mtb]

Hey RBr’s,

Need some ideas please.

My Dad is late 80s and whilst I hope he kicks on for many more years, truth is he will one day go. I was thinking of doing a video on him where I ask him a number of questions and then get his responses which can later be used to give to family and see him talking about his life.

Although I have had many chats of the years with him, and know the answers to a lot of questions, I’m trying to get the stuff that matters, some of the small stuff, stuff I may never have thought of, the questions I was thinking about were along the lines of;

What was it like being a kid growing up in Italy
What were your parents like
What are the things that stick in your mind about your time in WW2
What was it like knowing you were leaving family and friends to come to Australia
What jobs did you do when you hit Australia
How did you meet mum and how long before you got married
How have you found the change from life in the 20s to life now in 2013
Given it has been over 60 years since you made a life here, do you think of or miss friends and family back in Italy
What do you think your greatest achievements have been in life
What are your biggest regrets in life if any
Do you have any advice for me or on approach to life
Would you change anything if you could
What is your legacy, how and for what do you want to be remembered

What else should I ask, what is something that would be important, good, fun or special to know. It may be obvious to someone else but I may only think of it when it’s too late so trying to mitigate thinking I wish I had asked him that.

Thanks in advance for your help and ideas.

Regards,

Mars.

 

[24alpha]

Mars,

I think you have done a really good job with the list you have provided, remembering that you want your father to talk about his life, not answer a question.
These should be probing questions just to get him talking.

Good luck with it, it's a great idea.

Hux

 

[Dozer]

Did you meet Enzo Ferrari?

 

[pink poodle]

I have conducted a few interviews like this. The questions you have should make a good start. Discuss it a bit him a few times before recording and create an endvironment where he is relaxed andthings should flow. And use a good mic!

An interesting angle might be to look into the things he is passionate about. Then as he talks about that, draw out the little details that portray him.

good luck with it.

 

[DoubleD]

Why did you choose Australia? What was the boat trip like. What were the first days, weeks, months like? Why did you concrete the whole backyard? ;-)

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

 

[mars mtb]

Hi folks,

Some good tips there, also prompted me to come up with a couple of others questions.

And yes he did once meet Enzo through his close mate who was an engineer for Ferrari back in the day. Sadly his mate left Ferrari for Citroen and the rest is history. Dad then drove Fiat, Valiant with Toyota rounded out the remaining cars of his driving life, so no Ferrari for us.

Thanks again.

 

[Skydome]

Did he ever get a threesome at the F1 after parties?

 

[mtb101]

need to do some research on what you're asking for example what was it like being a kid in Italy? have a look at some historical information to get a feel for that time, then you won't be asking open ended questions rather your question will have enough information to prompt him into responding.

also go through his/the family photos, put them into chronological order - and use them again as prompts that will give a story to the photos and a answer to the questions you're after.

 

[mars mtb]

Thanks again, good way to structure MTB101 I did not think of that but reckon that will help him recall.

Skydome, funny one because I will ask him, perhaps not on film but don't reckon he would have known what to do, too much to handle for a man from a small village.

Nearly got this sorted.

Thanks all.

 

[JP]

How about "Is he happy?"

 

[mars mtb]

Hi guys,

Just wanted to say thanks for the contributions as I finally sat down with Dad and went through the questions.

In a nutshell, he is 100% happy had an awesome life coming from WW2 and no future in Italy to awesome Australia and what he calls best country and best people in the world.

I learnt stuff I never knew, he gave me advice of life, heaps of special stuff, got an insight into just how, as he puts it, shit life was until the "opportunity" to go to war and create a future, fucking hard as! Only thing he'd change is having his wife live longer, everything else he says he was blessed, and it was a hard as fuck life.

I should have asked him this decades ago but we've become mates as we've gotten older so lucky I got this in.

If you have not yet asked your folks these types of questions, there is no time like the present. Feel quite good inside. Trail building in the morning and bonding with the old man at night. It's been a good day.

Thanks again folks.

 

[Luco]

Hi guys,

Just wanted to say thanks for the contributions as I finally sat down with Dad and went through the questions.

In a nutshell, he is 100% happy had an awesome life coming from WW2 and no future in Italy to awesome Australia and what he calls best country and best people in the world.

I learnt stuff I never knew, he gave me advice of life, heaps of special stuff, got an insight into just how, as he puts it, shit life was until the "opportunity" to go to war and create a future, fucking hard as! Only thing he'd change is having his wife live longer, everything else he says he was blessed, and it was a hard as fuck life.

I should have asked him this decades ago but we've become mates as we've gotten older so lucky I got this in.

If you have not yet asked your folks these types of questions, there is no time like the present. Feel quite good inside. Trail building in the morning and bonding with the old man at night. It's been a good day.

Thanks again folks.

I randomly stumbled upon this thread and glad I did. Glad for you in fact as you had that time with your old man. My grandpa came to Australia from Malta at a similar time and in the months before he passed away I spent a lot of time with him as his wife died a year before. I found out so many things I never knew, especially the struggle he went through as a non English speaking worker! He used to make spaghetti for the landlord to save a little bit on rent even.
And you offer good advice at the end of your post; get to know your folks! My old man passed away 8 years ago and I wish I could've shared so much more with him!

Thanks for sharing such a personal thing with this forum!

 

[glasslike]

One thing I want to say.

To those that still have their parent(s) take a lot of videos of/with them. Someday they will pass away and videos are much better than photos.

Photos are unnatural and posed for. Videos however are more realistic. The biggest reason however is you forget your parents voice, most people have photos of family but little videos. You cannot imagine the comfort you get from hearing your parents voice once again. Cliche as it may be, you really don't realise what you are missing before it's gone.

I hope everyone makes the most of their time with their parents.

You will even miss the arguments you had, because arguing with them is better than them no longer being there.


Alexander