When bullshitting the wife backfires....

[indica]

By the time we're so financially secure that we can go out and spend a thousand here and a few hundred there on luxury items without justification I'll be riding fucking recumbents and getting hip replacements....

Or be dead.
I just spent $400 on an urn for all grain brewing. I said to my wife - I bought this, she said cool, I need some new bike shorts. Bought them too.

Some day someone will be hit by a bus and be dead thinking, fuck, if only I hadn't saved for my retirement I am never going to see.

 

[johnny]

Some day someone will be hit by a bus and be dead thinking, fuck, if only I hadn't saved for my retirement I am never going to see.

Alternatively some day some one will be old and broke thinking fuck, if only I hadn't blown all my money before I got too old to earn anymore.

Given that I didn't think I'd live this long (parachute malfunction, run over by roller coaster, run over by a car, major industrial accident which saw me escaping with only 5 stitches to the head because I wasn't 10mm that -> way, combat deployment, demolitions qualifications, ~10 Chinese with chair legs, knives and baseball bats, simply breathing the air in Beijing for four years, stabbed by a Nigerian metals smuggler...., the list goes on), I reckon erring on the side of caution and moderating between financial security and splurging on luxuries is probably the wiser position to take.

 

[driftking]

i must have the worlds best wife.

as im loading the bike in the ute to go for a ride

"new bike?"

"yep"

"have fun!"

2questions

1.Are there any more of these women
2.Where do I find one.

 

[Minlak]

Having a relationship with the person you're married to.

Revolutionary in nature, wonder if it will catch on.

In my mind it had a whole other point that perhaps in hindsight I should have explained instead of internalising it :thumb:

And wtf with your should be dead blurb no wonder you look like your avatar (I know you probably don't but I always imagined it that way)

 

[johnny]

In my mind it had a whole other point that perhaps in hindsight I should have explained instead of internalising it :thumb:

And wtf with your should be dead blurb no wonder you look like your avatar (I know you probably don't but I always imagined it that way)

That's what I used to look like BEFORE I got beat up by life.

I'm a bit more like a Nick Nolte mug shot mixed with some Moe Sizlak these days.

 

[pink poodle]

Fuck that, I'm never getting married.

But its not going to be out of choice.

This doesn't match your sign block...can I suggest you may have dick for days and hand for weeks...

 

[indica]

Given that I didn't think I'd live this long ...

Cool story BUT you could still be killed tomorrow by Kung Fu Cockroach, then you'd be sorry.
Wait... no you wouldn't,. you'd be dead and unable to enjoy your investment property,

 

[danncam]

Given that I didn't think I'd live this long (parachute malfunction, run over by roller coaster, run over by a car, major industrial accident which saw me escaping with only 5 stitches to the head because I wasn't 10mm that -> way, combat deployment, demolitions qualifications, ~10 Chinese with chair legs, knives and baseball bats, simply breathing the air in Beijing for four years, stabbed by a Nigerian metals smuggler...., the list goes on), I reckon erring on the side of caution and moderating between financial security and splurging on luxuries is probably the wiser position to take.

Fark, beats my chased by a bull elephant in Yankaria Game reserve Nigeria, hit by lightening in jos Nigeria, almost killed in a Kombi by a mob of pissed of Kano Muslims, falciparum malaria, L lower lobe pneumonia and right kidney infection all at once in Ghana.

Spend it carefully in case you live a long life, but make sure you spend something to help enjoy the now.

 

[moorey]

Cool story BUT you could still be killed tomorrow by Kung Fu Cockroach, then you'd be sorry.
Wait... no you wouldn't,. you'd be dead and unable to enjoy your investment property,

Kung Fu cockroach. Lol. Stealing that.

 

[SideFX]

Dont worry mate there are women upsetting men all around the world . Do what you want , when she complains tell here it her shit and she needs to deal with it not you . ride on !

 

[moorey]

Dont worry mate there are women upsetting men all around the world . Do what you want , when she complains tell here it her shit and she needs to deal with it not you . ride on !

Spoken like:
-Single man
-Divorced man
-Castrated man
-soon to be one of the above

 

[marc.r]

my sisters husband recently decided we should start doing endurance events together and is very excited... i complained to my partner that it all sounds a bit boring and pointless but that i will probably have to get a 29er since they are more effecient for that sort of caper that i dont really want to be involved with but you know family responsibility and all that etc.

i also rationalized that since 29ers are shit and have heavy flexy wheels and frames i probobly will have to get carbon wheels, frame and top shelf forks that arnt flexy etc. i made it clear that this is a sacrifice but if i was going to do it I would have to do it right.

she said no problem, I can buy that out of our discretionary funds after I pay off the new car I bought last year, pay for our july trip overseas and our friends interstate wedding in june and go to dentist and get all this work done and a whole bunch of other baloney that i'll never get done paying off in the next couple months i thought I spun the whole argument perfectly. at least she keeps me rational in my purchasing decisions....

 

[johnny]

Fark, beats my chased by a bull elephant in Yankaria Game reserve Nigeria, hit by lightening in jos Nigeria, almost killed in a Kombi by a mob of pissed of Kano Muslims, falciparum malaria, L lower lobe pneumonia and right kidney infection all at once in Ghana.

I don't know about that, I reckon you've got a good shot at the title there. I've always seen getting hit by lightening and living to tell the story as the peak of survivability.

Spoken like:
-Single man
-Divorced man
-Castrated man
-soon to be one of the above

Yeah, wasn't it what.......

 

[pink poodle]

I think lightening can go either way...I once held a wire through which I was zapped in a storm untying a greyhound. It was a nonevent, except scared shit out of me and my buddy and his pop.

In a similar era a friends mum was zapped in the laundry during a storm and that was some real serious shit.

I think lightening strike is prob up there with tsunami on the survivability scale, in the right situation. But attack by predatory animal trumps them. In that scenario the attacking force has skme level of intelligence. Its not just down to luck.

 

[moorey]

I think lightening can go either way...I once held a wire through which I was zapped in a storm untying a greyhound. It was a nonevent, except scared shit out of me and my buddy and his pop.

In a similar era a friends mum was zapped in the laundry during a storm and that was some real serious shit.

I think lightening strike is prob up there with tsunami on the survivability scale, in the right situation. But attack by predatory animal trumps them. In that scenario the attacking force has skme level of intelligence. Its not just down to luck.

Um. What?.....

edit. Didn't read the two posts above..

 

[pink poodle]

Um. What?.....

Exactly...

Johnny said something to the effect of surviving a lightening strike being the peak of survivability. I think it is up there, but not the peak...

But! I have never faced the wrath of a wife. So maybe there is worse. I'm not even sure why I read this thread...never been close to married and I don't understand the politics of marriage. The lying/tricking wife thing seems outrageous to me and none of my chums have been able to explain it. Wives with names like she who must be obeyed and the financial controller confuse me too. I'm happy to be enlightened.

Stil for those who need it though: do the grocery shopping. Then at the check out make a with drawl of pocket money while paying. Had a friend who did this (proudly) every week for years. I put much shame on him about it as I reckon it is akin to stealing from your family. But it worked for him. Withdrawal never showed up on the card.

 

[takai]

I don't know about that, I reckon you've got a good shot at the title there. I've always seen getting hit by lightening and living to tell the story as the peak of survivability.

I dunno, anything involving the T10/T11 parachute or anything derived from it takes the cake in my eyes. I've only done two jumps with T10, and it was the most terrifying thing ive ever done....

(not sure if Aus army uses the T10/T11s, but anything derived is still dicey)

 

[johnny]

Yeah, it was a T/10. And to be completely honest "malfunction" may be misleading. I was drunk, didn't power out the door, got dragged in by the slipstream and rolled down the side of the aircraft. That meant the risers were so twisted that my head was pushed down on to my chest and the canopy only able to partially open. Apparently I came down like a rock, I just remember trying to get my head up and my lid up off my eyes and then k-rump! I think being drunk actually helped me as all I suffered, other than that 'hit by a truck' feeling was a torn medial ligament left knee.

 

[pink poodle]

Yeah, it was a T/10. And to be completely honest "malfunction" may be misleading. I was drunk, didn't power out the door, got dragged in by the slipstream and rolled down the side of the aircraft. That meant the risers were so twisted that my head was pushed down on to my chest and the canopy only able to partially open. Apparently I came down like a rock, I just remember trying to get my head up and my lid up off my eyes and then k-rump! I think being drunk actually helped me as all I suffered, other than that 'hit by a truck' feeling was a torn medial ligament left knee.

And some stained jocks...that's gotta be a hectic couple of seconds?

 

[johnny]

Probably would have been pretty scary had I been coherent.