first time flying... last second advice?

[Adrian]

I'm getting flown up to brisbane in about three hours for a site inspection related to a job offer I got a couple of weeks back.

The thing is, I've never been on a plane before, and will be climbing in and out of four before tomorrow night is finished. Two Qantas flights, and two light planes..

Any last minute advice? What's flying like?

(I've heard the "In event of an emergency put your head between your legs and kiss you arse goodbye" WAY too many times).

cheers.

 

[Binaural]

Make sure you get there an hour beforehand

 

[Mur]

Well ive never been in a jumbo before, but i have been in a few light planes.

I will allways remember the pilots advice on a particuly windy and turbulant trip.

"If you do your seat belt up tighter you might stop hitting your head on the roof"

 

[fallboy]

If you dont know if you will get air sick or not take some quells or travacalm tablets with you. They are very mild and will help with nausea in bad conditions. Buy them at the chemist or airport

 

[No Skid Marks]

I know it's obvious and we all know it,but incase he's not heard,make sure you havn't masterbated or had sexual intercorse within the last two days,otherwise the pressure will push your small balls into your stomache. You can just hold onto them but if it's a long flight it can get painful,this is obviously just on the small less pressurised planes.A rubber band also works.

 

[Adrian]

I know it's obvious and we all know it,but incase he's not heard,make sure you havn't masterbated or had sexual intercorse within the last two days,otherwise the pressure will push your small balls into your stomache. You can just hold onto them but if it's a long flight it can get painful,this is obviously just on the small less pressurised planes.A rubber band also works.

Damn... I knew i should have posted this before lunch...


Sickness SHOULD be okay, seeing as I've spent alot of time on the water without ever getting motion sickness, but I'll pack away a couple of tabs just in case. Thanks for the replies guys...

 

[johnny]

Take a book but grab a window seat if it's your first time up.

Will probably be a bit of an anti-climax for you really, although belting down the runway for take off is always a blast!

 

[Dozer]

Don't take your manucure set on the plane as carry on luggage. The big buff dude at the gate will take you into a sealed room and "inspect" your body for other devices which could lead to someone cutting a bit too much off a finger nail.
Get the window seat and get ready for something that will probably bore you senseless. The view is good but the rest is boring.......(for me anyway).
Don't take a water bottle on the plane either, someone may have the urge to fight you for your water......Also, don't forget to take your fridge magnet so you can report any suspicious looking characters.

Enjoy the thrill of flying QANTAS !............and the delayed line ups.

 

[No Skid Marks]

and yes the wings are meant to flex a couple of foot like that,and yes there's always an extreme ampount of ugly mechanical noise. Avoid children,Americans and chatty or laughing women,even after half hour they get terribly annoying.

 

[ashhash]

Takeoff is fun, the actual flight loses the novelty value pretty fast - its just like a noisy, vibrating couch in the sky.

If its a nice clear day you will have some good views though.

Chat up the hostess and time will fly (no pun intended)..

 

[|Matt|]

Odds of dying in a plane crash are 52.6 million to 1, don't worry

Flying isn't much unless you are taking off or landing. Otherwise it is downright boring. Window seats are always good though.

 

[PINT of Stella. mate!]

Take a good book!


I suggest The Koran...

 

[scblack]

Have as many beers as they will give you. Relieves the boredom.

But on the first one, don't as it's all new for you.

 

[Binaural]

If you get in early, ask for an aisle seat. On longer flights the extra leg room is well worth the lecture from the stewardesses on what you have to do in an emergency. Sometimes they will prioritise these for tall blokes, but if the plane is not too full shorties and people of normal height also have a chance. This also usually means you get an excellent opportunity to chat up the air hostesses on the way up

 

[No Skid Marks]

He means a seat near the escape door I think. That's what I get anyway,you can still have a window.
Oddsof joining the mile high club on a one hour flight without a girl with you are higher than that of crashing.

 

[Turner_rider]

depending on the size of the light plane. Take ear plugs and use them.

 

[NCR600]

Flying in light aircraft is a blast, particularly if you can sit up front with the pilot, and he's in a talkative mood. If that's the case, ask lots of questions and the time will pass quickly.

Flying on commercial airliners blows. Uncomfortable, noisy in a white noise fashion, the staff treat everyone as if they're a brain dead sheep, and if you're flying Virgin, the knowledge that you're lining Branson's pockets will make you feel vaguely uneasy.

And the chances of joining the mile high club on an hour long flight without a girl are very slim indeed.

Take the girl out of the equation and join the mile 'I' club instead. Gotta do something to kill the boredom!

 

[Weasel]

Take it from a former private pilot...

The light plane will be bumpy because it travels low in the more disturbed air so dont panic..

As for the commercial aircraft. They make alot of noises and clunking sounds so dont think the wings will fall off...
just relax and look out the window... And if your over the wing YES the wings are desined to flex

 

[toodles]

No matter how many times I fly I never like it. In fact I think I'm learning to like flying less and less. Being treated like cattle shits me and listening to the same safety talk every time loses it's charm real fast.

My tip - fly Virgin. IMO the hostesses are better.

 

[chriscross]

find the sick bag befor the take off.... you never know you may need it