Being too lazy to do any real research myself, I asked this question on Aardvark:
I need to have chilled water available for a mountain bike race lasting 4 hours in 35C/95F+ heat. Without power onsite, what would be the best way to do this for say, 20 litres/5.2 gallons? Would like some numbers if possible, Thanks.
Instead of a response that actually answered my question, I got this:
Hi Edward,
Margaret K./52/F/Vermont,US just responded to your question about **cooling**:
"I have no idea. If you are capable of a four-hour mountain bike ride in heat like that, you should have plenty of experience in how to hydrate yourself. Since you don't, I advise you not to go on that ride. If you feel you must persist, ask your bike shop or bike club.
MCK"
I replied and frankly informed her that:
I know how to hydrate myself, it's just a matter of performance. Having cold water to drink and douse myself with in the heat will enable me to go harder in the heat without expiring and thus do better in the race. The question was about how to cool the water effectively, not how to drink it.
Response:
"And your point is? The aardvark.com service is voluntary - we get no pay - we're here to help people who don't have a clue. You DO have a clue and you shouldn't be wasting my time with bullshit questions like this - go to the library.
MCK"
I was a little more polite this time:
If you don't want to waste your time, then don't answer it in the first place. Aardvark can save time rather than researching it yourself in the library. Lazy yes. Thanks for your time anyway.
Apparently this person was convinced she knew everything about Aardvark and the people who use it and how a question should be answered. Because:
"I would not call you "lazy." I would call you misinformed and misguided, one of those people who disappears in a national park, makes many helicopters and hikers search for him, only to find that he has died because he didn't bring enough water with him into an arid area. Good luck, Edward, you're an asshole who doesn't understand the concept of aardvark.com, and probably doesn't understand the concept of life as normal people live it. C'est la vie.
MCK"
I had one last effort at making her see reason:
Just a parting shot to say that you're completely missing the point of this. I asked the question because I couldn't be bothered doing the math on how I could keep a volume of water cool for four hours. The purpose: to get a competitive edge on a mountain bike race. Survival in the wilderness has nothing to do with it. And my original point was that answering straight off the bat with "I have no idea" and then trying to advise me of just staying home instead is hardly a useful answer to my question. I'm doing a mountain bike race on a closed circuit, with people to support me and hand me bottles. I'm not some idiot who doesn't know how to survive out in the bush. You completely misanswered the question and I politely advised you of this, yet you seem to think you know everything about me and thus are an all knowing entity on whether I am capable of surviving on my own or not.
Next time you answer a question on Aardvark (or anywhere for that matter), try to actually answer it rather than making erroneous judgments on the ability of the asker.
And ref your abuse, thanks for the 'valuable insight', but seriously, go back to commenting on youtube vids with all the other degenerates.
Of course she had to reply to that:
"You couldn't be bothered to do the math, to get a competitive edge on a mountain bike race"? And you thought I could be bothered? LOL. You don't get it, dude, but I feel your pain. Ciao, baby.
MCK"
Ciao indeed, this person is clearly too high and mighty in her tower of bullshit to be convinced of anything, but hey. That's the interwebs for ya. I hope you find this as fascinating/amusing as I did.
