Things you see on your daily commute - the weird, whacky, funny or downright disturbing.

cammas

cammas

Seamstress
I’ve been going to start this thread for a while, not sure if one already exists but I’ve couldn’t see one.

Anyhow for those of us who have the privilege of commuting, tell us about the weird things you see. Myself, I do a mix of commuting sometimes I drive or I ride to catch a V/Line train to city then ride to work from there, along my travels I see all sorts of things, so I thought I’d start sharing some of them.

So far this morning has been pretty boring so far but the day is still young, except for the tradie sitting opposite me who for some reason keeps looking at my bike and smirking to himself, while he’s sitting there picking his nose then inspecting it, before wiping it on his pants.
 
I didn't commute because it was too far for my lazy arse to ride but when I had a particular brand of car I would throw the bike in the back and do some rides along Coro Drive at lunch to unwind. And ride in from the workshop in Indro when the car was being serviced. I was told of this legend (M, 50s, very large) who rode in very tight white, almost see through lycra over a very bright very small green g string. Those who had witnessed this were the usual roadie gang and would blast past on their road bikes. One fine morning after dropping the car off for a fluid change I caught up to this legend. I was on a dually, my 575 as it happened, and old mate resplendent in his formal riding gear was on a road bike. I could not get past. I tried. I even slowed down and stopped to check the daisies but still caught him at the next climb. I sat behind this horrendously large arse pirouetting above the saddle, aged balls hanging either side of the undergarment swaying from side to side, on the climbs for him to just coast down the other side fast enough to keep me behind so I could enjoy (sic) the vista at the next rise. I arrived at work and managed to deflect any questions about the ride before confiding in a non rider the horror. I copped so much shit and never ever again doubted the stories I heard.
 
I have a strip of cement path between the beach and sand dunes, it's 655373 meters wide and this section would be under 1km long. I call it the warzone. Its like you've entered North America or Thailand based on the position people put themselves in on this section. But there is this one guy; an old bloke that jogs. Without fail every single day I see him he runs at EVERYONE. He lines you up and runs right at you. I see him coming and kinda merge to the middle of the path so I've got room to avoid him at the pinch point. I don't want to be "the fuckwit" when commuting and sharing the space but just one time I decided to hold my line on this old c$#t. I run noise cancelling headphones too (fight me) so I paused whatever banger I was on up the path and listened for his reaction. I was the far left edge and he came at me. I hit him at a slower pace than I would usually ride, he just wobbled out of it and kept trucking. :D Basically no reaction. Next day I came across him in the same spot but a Mum is wheeling the pram along. He runs at her, deadset fucking hits the pram's side and has a digger on the path. I stopped anticipating he might need a coffin but he just gets up and off he goes. The Mum (quite the sort I'll add) chucked a helluva wobbly, she tore this bloke to pieces with mean words. He couldn't care less and still does it every day.




I've now hit him him 3 times since the end of daylight saving. ;)
 
My commute is just a matter of making sure I remember all the wheel swallowing holes and ruts in the third world war zone that is Hobart roads, and trying to not get skittled or doored... But I'll pay more attention to finding funny stuff, will make a nice change.

I did nearly skittle a Pademelon the other day on the bike path coming home! In the dark, and the silly thing darted right out in front of me and then proceeded to aim at my front wheel. Back wheel in the air emergency stop and i just missed him, and it just stops and looks back at me somewhat aggrieved. If it could talk it would have been with a bad DeNiro accent "Im walking here!"

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Car commute. Driving on the freeway. One single car in the emergency lane. 2 guys behind it going hammer and tong. No other car nearby. No one else and no pedestrian access.
I can only imagine that two blokes going to work start arguing and decide to settle it by going toe to toe on the freeway.
fucked if know but it was weird and a real WTF moment.
 
On the bike trucking up the Southern Outlet in Hobart one day and at this point there was a car on the non road side of the crash barrier just before the sign, facing down the hill (so the wrong way), with no damage to either the car or the crash barrier. There's definitely no access from the bush on the left, so I wondered for a while how the fuck it got there. Turns out somehow it was on the back of a tow truck, came loose and made it over the crash barrier very neatly without destroying either it or the car.


Crash barrier.JPG
 
Haakon said:
@rangersac still impressed you brave that route into town on the bike!
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Aside from the noise the Outlet is the best bit of my commute. Full lane to myself, no parked cars, side streets or driveways where ninja cars and close passing cockheads can intrude.

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rangersac said:
Aside from the noise the Outlet is the best bit of my commute. Full lane to myself, no parked cars, side streets or driveways where ninja cars and close passing cockheads can intrude.

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Yeah the noise is a thing I bet! And the descent into town not so scary in peak times with slower traffic - would be "exciting" coming down there at speed limit though!!
 
On my drive to work one morning I passed an elderly gent standing on the nature strip in knee high grass wearing full white cotton/linen outfit with a black turban and holding a whipper snipper. Since then I have seen him with a mower - same outfit up top but with busted arse thread bare black trackies and sandals. His wife must have gone completely nuts after the whipper snipper effort.
 
rangersac said:
Fastest I've clocked down there is 92 on the roadie before discretion took hold and I touched the brakes at the Dynnyrne corner

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I did that speed once down Mt Buller on the roadie - and spent some time afterwards reflecting on exactly how silly it was... Its certainly an attention getting speed on a bicycle!!!!
 
Most of my commuting is at night...through a maze of drunks, druggos, cops, night clubs, brothels, bars, drug dens, homeless people (a growing number I might add), hospo workers, recreational fisherpersons, commercial fisherpersons, and the odd motor vehicle. I see plenty of weird shit...

- late one night I saw 2 young men simultaneously fucking a young woman on the promenade. Undertaking what appeared to be the world's most boring 3 way. She looked at me in a very inviting fashion. I suggested the boys were so shit at the work it took 2 of them to get it done.

- a lot of women, more frequently than men, will stop for a shit while staggering home. It is unpleasant to see.

- meth heads looking for meth in the garden can be quite entertaining. Talk about a frantic approach to weeding!

- and who doesn't love watching groups of drunk people arguing with the doorman about being sober enough to come in and drink?
 
Once when on the roadie about 1 k from work, I got a "yeeeeeeeahfuckingoodonyaacuuuuuunt" and a high five from a local junkie.

Probably not what you're after, but listening to a podcast on the drive to work today, and the hosts were taking about martinis.
Host 1: How dirty do you like them?
Host 2: I just have the bartender shit in it.

I lost it. Got a lot of looks from other commuters, I was probably their funny commuting story for the day.
 
crash3 said:
Once when on the roadie about 1 k from work, I got a "yeeeeeeeahfuckingoodonyaacuuuuuunt" and a high five from a local junkie.

Probably not what you're after, but listening to a podcast on the drive to work today, and the hosts were taking about martinis.
Host 1: How dirty do you like them?
Host 2: I just have the bartender shit in it.

I lost it. Got a lot of looks from other commuters, I was probably their funny commuting story for the day.
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Yeah I do this on the train and then wonder why people stare at me on public transport, at first’s I thought it was for my good looks.

My latest thing has been listening to the radio on the way into work on the train, then when I get off I put on some music usually some heavy or aggressive or both to ride to, as I head to work against the flow of wankers from the eastern suburbs who think they have right away on both sides of the bike path. Something like the below at 7am gets the blood flowing nicely, this is an ’80’s band I discovered recently.

 
When I used to commute, the P443 and 444 bus was boring as.

There used to be a young stinky guy that got on at Indro, dressed in corporate gear. He stunk so bad it was gag worthy. His long hair looks pretty greasy. I'd watch people get on the bus and furiously scan the crowd trying to identify him ha. After a few times I changed buses. Dirty soap dodger cunt.
 
Dales Cannon said:
I didn't commute because it was too far for my lazy arse to ride but when I had a particular brand of car I would throw the bike in the back and do some rides along Coro Drive at lunch to unwind. And ride in from the workshop in Indro when the car was being serviced. I was told of this legend (M, 50s, very large) who rode in very tight white, almost see through lycra over a very bright very small green g string. Those who had witnessed this were the usual roadie gang and would blast past on their road bikes. One fine morning after dropping the car off for a fluid change I caught up to this legend. I was on a dually, my 575 as it happened, and old mate resplendent in his formal riding gear was on a road bike. I could not get past. I tried. I even slowed down and stopped to check the daisies but still caught him at the next climb. I sat behind this horrendously large arse pirouetting above the saddle, aged balls hanging either side of the undergarment swaying from side to side, on the climbs for him to just coast down the other side fast enough to keep me behind so I could enjoy (sic) the vista at the next rise. I arrived at work and managed to deflect any questions about the ride before confiding in a non rider the horror. I copped so much shit and never ever again doubted the stories I heard.
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Yeah, I finally got a roadie. Didn't know the pair separated but will accept that on good faith.
Getting srotox tomorrow :cool:
 
So I’ve been doing a bit WFH this week then drove in for two days after so after some shitty nights of sleep, left work late yesterday afternoon so was getting close to dark, on the Westgate Bridge and a guy in a hilux tradie thing driving along no lights on, I thought meh I’ve probably done that.
I get onto the Caroline Springs bypass and a new gen Mustang merges on again no lights, flash him a couple times to let him know but nothing, this time of day traffic is a crawl, another reason not to drive, he’s within in sight of me for a couple of kilometres then he cuts through the traffic and I lose sight of him, pretty easy as it’s dark now and still no lights. Finally get past the bottle neck merge of Ballarat road onto the Western Highway because no fuck knuckle knows how merging works, cruising along finally at highway speed when I see him again in the left lane, still no lights on, it’s completely dark now and as I pass him I look across, he’s sitting there in the dark just cruising along with the rest of the traffic with no dash lights either. So he obviously knew he had an issue but he was driving like nothing was wrong and only 5 minutes before he was cutting lanes trying to get ahead of everyone else, he’s probably the type if something did happen it would be your fault :rolleyes:
 
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