The Excuses Thread.

[Flow-Rider]

Lets hear about all the best excuses that you've heard.

I've got a riding buddy that comes up with some of the funniest excuses that he almost makes me fall off the bike and roll on the ground laughing. Last one he told me was that a Christmas beetle hit him in the eye on a down hill descent and made him stack the bike. I'll continue to update with every excuse he comes up with.


Ok, lets hear some excuses.

 

[Skydome]

I was gonna do well in life but then i got high.

 

[Ultra Lord]

I lost feeling in my foot and now I’m missing parts of my spine.

I wasn’t academically inclined

My rims are too narrow and 27.5

The pedal kickback is just too damn high!










My belt only lasted three rides

 

[Minlak]

I’m under a lot of stress at work I can normally maintain an erection I swear.

 

[link1896]

I lost feeling in my foot and now I’m missing parts of my spine.

I wasn’t academically inclined

My rims are too narrow and 27.5

The pedal kickback is just too damn high!










My belt only lasted three rides

And yet others have ridden 15,000km on the same belt

 

[The Duckmeister]

"Well you try riding down it with a 71-degree head angle!"

 

[Cardy George]

There's no hills where I live... .

 

[pink poodle]

I didn't bring the right bike to hit that...

 

[Lazmo]

"Well you try riding down it with a 71-degree head angle!"

I heard those very words in my workshop just the other day...

 

[hifiandmtb]

I didn't bring the right bike because it was stolen...

Fixed.

 

[born-again-biker]

My favourite is:
"I just can't be fucked..."

It's actually the anti-excuse. It's honest.
It's not trying to blame a christmas beetle, or the weather, or last years' model, or the wrong tyres, or your wife, or the kids etc etc
No, none of those half-truths.....it's because....

I just can't be fucked.

 

[Flow-Rider]

My favourite is:
"I just can't be fucked..."

It's actually the anti-excuse. It's honest.
It's not trying to blame a christmas beetle, or the weather, or last years' model, or the wrong tyres, or your wife, or the kids etc etc
No, none of those half-truths.....it's because....

I just can't be fucked.

I still find it funny though.

Another excuse that my mate uses " My knee's blown up and got to cut the ride short " then casually wheelstands about 20m back to the car.

 

[born-again-biker]

I still find it funny though.

Another excuse that my mate uses " My knee's blown up and got to cut the ride short " then casually wheelstands about 20m back to the car.

Whoa,,,that's a weird one

I still find it funny though.

Another excuse that my mate uses " My knee's blown up and got to cut the ride short " then casually wheelstands about 20m back to the car.

Yeah haha....the "dodgy knee". Hasn't he heard about hamstrings? They're like the no.1 excuse muscle!

 

[Flow-Rider]

Whoa,,,that's a weird one


Yeah haha....the "dodgy knee". Hasn't he heard about hamstrings? They're like the no.1 excuse muscle!

He used the old cramps in the legs before but I think that was real.

 

[Ultra Lord]

Jesus, you’re giving me flashbacks of last rides arm pump with all this cramping talk. Fuuuuuuuck it was painful

 

[Flow-Rider]

Jesus, you’re giving me flashbacks of last rides arm pump with all this cramping talk. Fuuuuuuuck it was painful

The day this bloke cramped was one of the funniest I had ever seen, we both had ridden about 50kms with 1000m of elevation gain. I was out in front by about 1km on the way home and he missed the turn off from a fire road so I had to chase him before he got lost, anyway when I found him he was in a yoga position with his legs crossed on the side of the fireroad screaming.

 

[born-again-biker]

heh heh cramps are funny as fuck.....as long as it's not you.

Sometimes my hamstrings cramp real bad....a few hours after a ride.
I woke up hollering and thrashing around one night in the Weldborough Hotel after a solid Derby shuttle day. My mate fucken' shit himself - he thought I was having a seizure or something.
I dunno what was funnier - me on the floor doing the Double Leg Screamer like a rabid bear.....or the look of pure fear on my mates face before he realised.

 

[steve jobs' pancreas]

I didn't bring the right bike to hit that...

That was confidential !!!!

 

[link1896]

I didn't know I couldn't high pressure water clean my bike after every ride

 

[safreek]

I lost feeling in my foot and now I’m missing parts of my spine.

I wasn’t academically inclined

My rims are too narrow and 27.5

The pedal kickback is just too damn high!










My belt only lasted three rides

27.5, there is the problem, you will still do better in life than a 29 rider, enjoyment wise, no guarantee financially though