The colourful phrase dictionary

[Nambra]

One of my favourite quotes

A bit like one an Irish mate’s Dad used to say, may he rest in peace:
If it’s got tits, wheels or microchips, it’s bound to give you trouble.

 

[Plankosaurus]

"Well I'm not here to fuck spiders" - when someone comments on how quick the job is moving along

"You're fucking this cat" - when you get asked a question about the task at hand by someone in charge

"Looks good from my place" - when you've done or seen a sub par job and don't want to fix it up

"Painter will fix it" - when something's been royally fucked up by another trade and you have the luxury of laughing at it and not having to fix it

Sent from my G8441 using Tapatalk

 

[fatboyonabike]

I watched a Jimmy Carr stand up gig on netflix the other night and this one still has me giggling
It's Wetter than a spastics chin!
just waiting patiently for some rain so I can use that one at work..

 

[fatboyonabike]

Mate...the water as glass! It's no wonder he was rushing, and rightly so!

the flatties were bustin up on the surface!

 

[born-again-biker]

Some of my favourites...

"Busier than a one-armed brick layer in Baghdad" (Kenny)

"Busier than a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest"

"Colder than a penguins pecker"

"Does the Pope shit in the woods?"

"Is the bear a catholic?"

"About as much fun as a day at the Dentist"

"He's as sharp as a bowling ball"

"I wish his Old Man had just settled for a blow job"

"Blind as a welders' dog"

"As dumb as wood"

"Slower than a wet week"

"Sweating like a nun in a field of cucumbers"

"Mad as a cut snake"

"Mad as a meat axe"

Visits to the toilet:
"I gotta check the plumbing"

"Snap one off"

"Back one out"

"Pinch one off"

"Lay some cable"

"I've got an angry Arab in the departure lounge"

"I gotta teach a Pom to swim"

 

[fatboyonabike]

Busier than a Bishops Finger

 

[born-again-biker]

Busier than a Bishops Finger

Slipperier than a preachers prick.

 

[nzhumpy]

All work related...

"It's not rocket surgery"
"It's hardly brain science"
"No shit Sherlock"

 

[hifiandmtb]

"Looks good from my place" - when you've done or seen a sub par job and don't want to fix it up

One of my favourites too.

 

[slowmick]

"If at first you succeed, try not to look surprised."
"If you at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you,"

Our reply at work for everyone who comes up with an inappropriate or dangerous solution to a problem is "Think harder Homer".
We even used to hand out stickers with Bart in the shape of an anchor for a while.

 

[link1896]

He’s more left then a cyclist on the autobahn

Like a bad shopping trolley, no matter which way you push him, he always pulls to the right.

 

[pink poodle]

the flatties were bustin up on the surface!

Those fucking 3 metreries! He done himself a mischief in the rush.

 

[Nambra]

Slipperier than a preachers prick.

As dry as a nun’s nasty.

 

[SummitFever]

Bogflogger - a 4WDriver that finds a little puddle by the side of a road and then proceeds to drive back and forward through it until its a deeply rutted testament to how stupid the driver is.

 

[pink poodle]

Cunt - someone who is worse than an arsehole.


How does that logic even work? I'd rather eat a cunt than an arsehole...

 

[SummitFever]

Flagenation - a whole country of wankers.

 

[Calvin27]

Cunt - someone who is worse than an arsehole.

Gunt. A HR person asked me what it was because she was dealing with another work related incident and she felt I would know.... not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

 

[born-again-biker]

Gunt. A HR person asked me what it was because she was dealing with another work related incident and she felt I would know.... not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

Ohh to be a fly on the wall

 

[The Duckmeister]

Prehysteric: the time when people only bought as much dunny rag as they needed.

 

[The Duckmeister]

Got more chins than a Chinese phone book - to describe anyone built like Clive Palmer