I friggin hate hook-turns (driving a car this is).
I don't go into the city often enough to know which intersections I need to do one at (and don't even start with that "it's anywhere you need to turn right across a tram line", because BULLSHIT! It is most definitely not every right turn across a tram line, these days I'd be surprised if it's even the majority of them because haphazardly occurring right-turn lanes now exist randomly across the city. Yes, there's these helpful little sign to identify which intersections you need to do a hook-turn at, but they're normally positioned at an altitude that endangers the international space station, and are about 200mm across. Bonus points for council/roads workers that manage to install them somewhere you're retinas will be seared to resemble a piece of crispy bacon if you're required to look at them during the morning/evening peak hours.
But I digress, if by some miracle you've potentially been lucky enough to guess whether you're turning right from the left lane or right from a right turn lane, you can now go and stack on the left. Someone pulls in behind you. So far so good, hook-turn area now full. Then some fucking knob jockey comes and pulls up alongside you in the 'going straight ahead' left turn lane because they can't comprehend that stationary cars the other side of the intersection means TRAFFIC ISN'T FLOWING AND THERE'S NOWHERE TO FUCKING MOVE INTO. Thus blocking off both through traffic and your ability to complete a hook turn. You think to yourself "Fuck you, fuck your parents, and fuck anyone who's ever known your name and not slapped you", and wait. Eventually traffic edges forward, knob-head moves and you commence your hook-turn. But because it's Melbourne some fuck-knuckle taxi driver/delivery van will decide to pull a unplanned kamikaze U-turn through the middle of the intersection that you still haven't cleared out of (no, not by doing a "hook-U-turn" either), and tries to park their vehicle in your driver's side front quarter panel. So you pause again, think some more curses, make your gesticulations and probably even toot your horn. At this point traffic going from the other direction has now clogged the intersection because apparently it's peak hour in both directions and the people going that way also fail to comprehend that there is no exit strategy from an intersection when traffic isn't moving because dumb fucks like them at every other intersection in town are doing exactly the same thing.
Fuck Melbourne and it's idiot drivers who think it's ok to inconvenience an entire city instead of 'missing the lights'. And you people are telling me you're brave enough to entry this fray on a bicycle? No thank you. No thank you indeed!
On-topic LTIH - That Melbourne never went ahead with the plan to ban cars (except delivery vehicles/trades obviously) from the CBD. Would actually be a fairly functional city if you could jump on a tram or just walk everywhere.