Confessions from the fuckwits

Mattyp

Likes Bikes and Dirt
This was almost gonna be "my pedal is stuck" thread. These fuckers were on so tight after I broke the bit with a breaker bar, I had to do sanity check to confirm I wasn't turning the wrong way (I wasn't!). They were just on really really tight...
I have a stuck pedal at the moment. Im not riding the bike so I've been putting it off dealing with it, but sooner or later it's going to have to be done. Might have to take it to the shop and borrow the big pedal spanner.
 

pink poodle

Our man isn't in the West
I have a stuck pedal at the moment. Im not riding the bike so I've been putting it off dealing with it, but sooner or later it's going to have to be done. Might have to take it to the shop and borrow the big pedal spanner.
This could be a much better way to decide who is king of the mountain than Strava... whomsoever can remove the pedal from this crank shall be the true king of the mountain...


384462
 

blacksp20

Likes Bikes and Dirt
I have a stuck pedal at the moment. Im not riding the bike so I've been putting it off dealing with it, but sooner or later it's going to have to be done. Might have to take it to the shop and borrow the big pedal spanner.
If it has a hex fitting, try some penetrating oil and an impact wrench.
 

fjohn860

Crypto curious
Missus suggests a ride to the other side of town to pick up something she purchased from marketplace, sure thing quick local blat I won't bring any tools/puncture repair kit (even though the wife's bike runs tubes).

Cue her getting a front puncture halfway to our destination. No worries I say let's find a spot out of the way and I'll fix the puncture. Fuckwit, you didn't bring anything. LOL.

So we start the walk home, I suggest riding home and getting the car to pick her up (or her riding my bike and getting the car), but no she's happy walking, besides it's not that far home.

Cue a thunderstorm of near biblical proportions when we are still (only) 500m from home. So I give her my bike to smash it home to get out of the rain whilst I walk her bike the rest of the way.

One drenched Fuckwit.
 

DMan

shawly the least hangeriest guy on rotorburn
Missus suggests a ride to the other side of town to pick up something she purchased from marketplace, sure thing quick local blat I won't bring any tools/puncture repair kit (even though the wife's bike runs tubes).

Cue her getting a front puncture halfway to our destination. No worries I say let's find a spot out of the way and I'll fix the puncture. Fuckwit, you didn't bring anything. LOL.

So we start the walk home, I suggest riding home and getting the car to pick her up (or her riding my bike and getting the car), but no she's happy walking, besides it's not that far home.

Cue a thunderstorm of near biblical proportions when we are still (only) 500m from home. So I give her my bike to smash it home to get out of the rain whilst I walk her bike the rest of the way.

One drenched Fuckwit.
But think of the brownie points.
 

rockmoose

Likes Bikes and Dirt
Missus suggests a ride to the other side of town to pick up something she purchased from marketplace, sure thing quick local blat I won't bring any tools/puncture repair kit (even though the wife's bike runs tubes).

Cue her getting a front puncture halfway to our destination. No worries I say let's find a spot out of the way and I'll fix the puncture. Fuckwit, you didn't bring anything. LOL.

So we start the walk home, I suggest riding home and getting the car to pick her up (or her riding my bike and getting the car), but no she's happy walking, besides it's not that far home.

Cue a thunderstorm of near biblical proportions when we are still (only) 500m from home. So I give her my bike to smash it home to get out of the rain whilst I walk her bike the rest of the way.

One drenched Fuckwit.
This Lonely Planet guide is writing itself.
 

cammas

Seamstress
Missus suggests a ride to the other side of town to pick up something she purchased from marketplace, sure thing quick local blat I won't bring any tools/puncture repair kit (even though the wife's bike runs tubes).

Cue her getting a front puncture halfway to our destination. No worries I say let's find a spot out of the way and I'll fix the puncture. Fuckwit, you didn't bring anything. LOL.

So we start the walk home, I suggest riding home and getting the car to pick her up (or her riding my bike and getting the car), but no she's happy walking, besides it's not that far home.

Cue a thunderstorm of near biblical proportions when we are still (only) 500m from home. So I give her my bike to smash it home to get out of the rain whilst I walk her bike the rest of the way.

One drenched Fuckwit.
Who said chivalry is dead!
 

teK--

Eats Squid
Missus suggests a ride to the other side of town to pick up something she purchased from marketplace, sure thing quick local blat I won't bring any tools/puncture repair kit (even though the wife's bike runs tubes).

Cue her getting a front puncture halfway to our destination. No worries I say let's find a spot out of the way and I'll fix the puncture. Fuckwit, you didn't bring anything. LOL.

So we start the walk home, I suggest riding home and getting the car to pick her up (or her riding my bike and getting the car), but no she's happy walking, besides it's not that far home.

Cue a thunderstorm of near biblical proportions when we are still (only) 500m from home. So I give her my bike to smash it home to get out of the rain whilst I walk her bike the rest of the way.

One drenched Fuckwit.
Should have taken your other wife, the one who rides a bike with tubeless.
 

Dales Cannon

The Olden Dazed
Staff member
Not mtb related but clearly fuckwittery.

Finally got around to dropping the front end loader off the tractor because the control valve is passing badly. Barely drivable with the loader dropping under its own weight. Should be an easy job using the hydraulics but the valve is leaking so badly the bucket really can't hold any weight so decide to use the engine crane. Loader and frame have to come off to get to the valve anyway. 3 day job apparently, remove footplate, hydrostatic drive linkages, mower deck then frame and lift, etc. Winter job. So... Disconnect everything down the back of the block where the implements go to rest. And rust. Rerig 4 times to get balance and still need some bfoi. Anyways all good and the loader is on some bricks and covered by a tarp, engine crane back in the shed and counterweight off. Tractor feels like a sports car now. Start mowing. Hmmm can get in really close to these trees now. Mow, mow, mow. Drive near another tree. Crunch. WTF was that? No idea. Mow, mow, mow. Strange, looks like glass all over the bonnet and instruments and footplate. And my hands and arms and legs. Weird. Yep that is glass. Yep that is blood, lots of blood, lots of places. Shit. The solar panel that was on the canopy has exploded. Everywhere.

So the solar panel is a great idea and keeps the battery topped up. Mounting it on the canopy... not so much. So new panel with a plug and let it sit on the bonnet. Removers to use tractor. Safer!
 

moorey

has arseritis
Yesterday, binge watching Seinfeld while building a wheel….or more like building a wheel while ensconced in Seinfeld binge watching.

5 de-lacings later, I accepted that while wheel building isn’t hard, it is something you need to give more than 10% of your attention to.
 

Stredda

Runs naked through virgin scrub
Yesterday, binge watching Seinfeld while building a wheel….or more like building a wheel while ensconced in Seinfeld binge watching.

5 de-lacings later, I accepted that while wheel building isn’t hard, it is something you need to give more than 10% of your attention to.
Yeah I can't watch tv or even listen to a podcast, when I need to concentrate on a task. I can have music going if it's not too mentally demanding but if I really need to focus I can't have any distractions.
 

dazz

Queen Karen of Ballarat
Not mtb related but clearly fuckwittery.

Finally got around to dropping the front end loader off the tractor because the control valve is passing badly. Barely drivable with the loader dropping under its own weight. Should be an easy job using the hydraulics but the valve is leaking so badly the bucket really can't hold any weight so decide to use the engine crane. Loader and frame have to come off to get to the valve anyway. 3 day job apparently, remove footplate, hydrostatic drive linkages, mower deck then frame and lift, etc. Winter job. So... Disconnect everything down the back of the block where the implements go to rest. And rust. Rerig 4 times to get balance and still need some bfoi. Anyways all good and the loader is on some bricks and covered by a tarp, engine crane back in the shed and counterweight off. Tractor feels like a sports car now. Start mowing. Hmmm can get in really close to these trees now. Mow, mow, mow. Drive near another tree. Crunch. WTF was that? No idea. Mow, mow, mow. Strange, looks like glass all over the bonnet and instruments and footplate. And my hands and arms and legs. Weird. Yep that is glass. Yep that is blood, lots of blood, lots of places. Shit. The solar panel that was on the canopy has exploded. Everywhere.

So the solar panel is a great idea and keeps the battery topped up. Mounting it on the canopy... not so much. So new panel with a plug and let it sit on the bonnet. Removers to use tractor. Safer!
Maybe go one of these flexible panels:
https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/274220974750
I used one on the roof of our camper, glued it on using Sikaflex 221. Made sure I announced loudly, "that ain't going anywhere" when I was done, pretty sure that's the most important bit.
Super low profile and no glass to shatter.
 

shiny

Go-go-gadget-wrist-thingy
That only works with ratchet straps and you must simultaneously rock the camper three times with your hand.
Ratchet straps are too fancy. You need occy straps. Also bonus points for nearly taking your eye out and stretching it way too far and clipping in place ‘she’ll be right’.
 

Dales Cannon

The Olden Dazed
Staff member
Maybe go one of these flexible panels:
https://www.ebay.com.au/itm/274220974750
I used one on the roof of our camper, glued it on using Sikaflex 221. Made sure I announced loudly, "that ain't going anywhere" when I was done, pretty sure that's the most important bit.
Super low profile and no glass to shatter.
#1 said same, his mate has bounced his off many things. I only need 20,000mW though.
 
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