Black Dogs and mental shit in general

Nambra

Definitely should have gone to specsavers
FFS mine need someone to dress them in the morning.

Missus says they need to learn to do stuff for themselves, I tell them - make your own breakfast, missus says nooooo, I made yours so I'll make theirs. What do you want... bacon, poached eggs... scrambled eggs :oops:
Can relate. Kids are in year 10 & 12 and still have their school lunches made for them... it's a wonder she's not still wiping their arses too.
 

Cardy George

Piercing rural members since 1981
FFS mine need someone to dress them in the morning.

Missus says they need to learn to do stuff for themselves, I tell them - make your own breakfast, missus says nooooo, I made yours so I'll make theirs. What do you want... bacon, poached eggs... scrambled eggs :oops:
Can relate. Kids are in year 10 & 12 and still have their school lunches made for them... it's a wonder she's not still wiping their arses too.
Have to admit to following Mrs George's lead on it. I made my own school lunch, but I don't think it was that early. Grandma and Grandpa used to come to the rescue when ever Step-Daughter was required to do anything for herself. She would always "miss" the bus, so Grandpa would drive her to school. She'd "forget" her tennis racquet so Grandma would deliver jt. Mrs George felt quite vindicated when Step-Daughter wound up living with them and all the 'help' they gave her was thrown back in their face.

Now, if the boys forget anything they've been told to pre-arrange, too bad, so sad, maybe you'll remember it next time you're told.
 

ozzybmx

taking a shit with my boobs out
Sounds like you still can't make you own breakfast @ozzybmx
Mate, I worked hard to mould a woman into what I needed. Every inch I gave, she took a mile.

Its been an 18yr process to make sure she gets what she wants and I get what I want without anyone of us feeling like its one sided.

She likes money and shopping, I like meals (brekky in bed on my days off, lunches, cooked dinners for work and sandwich) and shuttles :)

The shuttle bunny also gets to work part time and make me brekky because I work sooooo hard :p:D;)
 

Nambra

Definitely should have gone to specsavers
Have to admit to following Mrs George's lead on it. I made my own school lunch, but I don't think it was that early. Grandma and Grandpa used to come to the rescue when ever Step-Daughter was required to do anything for herself. She would always "miss" the bus, so Grandpa would drive her to school. She'd "forget" her tennis racquet so Grandma would deliver jt. Mrs George felt quite vindicated when Step-Daughter wound up living with them and all the 'help' they gave her was thrown back in their face.

Now, if the boys forget anything they've been told to pre-arrange, too bad, so sad, maybe you'll remember it next time you're told.
I also made my lunch, ironed my own school uniform and missed the bus at my peril, being that it was a 45 min ride to high school. Part of it is my wife wanting to be "the best mum that she can be" and perhaps overcompensating for certain deficiencies in her family when she was young (long story). All the same, kids need to become independent. If they can make their own breakfast, lunch shouldn't be much more of a stretch!
 

Scotty T

Walks the walk
My boy was a spoilt little shit but he turned out OK, it's easy to spoil an only child, but on the flip side he knows and appreciates that's how it worked. Still can't get him to do dishes and washing in one day though, seems to be one or the other and forgetting things he has to do every single day, but he is a good reliable worker in his real jobs.
 

Rorschach

Didnt pay $250 for this custom title
Having a rough trot of it recently with my family back in the UK and really feeling the distance at the minute.
My gran died a couple of weeks ago after being in a nursing home for the last few years. She had COVID not long ago so may have been a contributory factor, as well as Lymphoma. She was palliative before she went in the home and managed to pull through and given all that, I was really glad she hung on as long as she did. She was 97 so had a good innings and I've got some great memories. I was thinking about going back to support my mum, but she was OK with everything so I decided not to but I was still feeling pretty far away.
Then I had a call from my brother at 9pm on Friday night saying he'd been preliminarily diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer and its hit me hard. The weekend was shit. My wifes supporting me as much as possible while understanding I need some time out. We've discussed it and I'm going to go back to the UK in April once we have a bit more info so I can spend some time with him and my family as my folks are in bits too. Work are OK with it, I just need to know more so I can book something.
He's younger than me at 36, a lot fitter than me and has never smoked a pack of cigarettes in his life. He's done 2 tours in Afghanistan, 1 in Iraq and despite not being academic, has the highest technical qualification the British Army gives to its enlisted servicemen and is chewing his way through a Master of Engineering. I still give him shit though as I have a PhD. I haven't seen him in 5 years, which is way too long

I suppose I'm using this as a forum to get something down on paper and organise things in my head. I've got an appointment with my Psychologist today and all this has gone down since I last saw her so I'm going to talk it through with her
 

The Duckmeister

Has a juicy midrange
That is a shit run, hope everything shakes out as well as it can. Over the years I've found having a goal or project to focus on has helped keep my head pointing the right way. Your goal is getting back to see your family, set your focus on making it happen, and you'll get through OK. :)

Now for something a bit different. As some of you would have read, I changed jobs a bit over a month ago, into a completely different industry, and it's been an unexpected bonza for my headspace; mentally I'm feeling better than I have for a long time. After almost 18 years there I'd begun to feel kinda stale, and long-running personality clashes were really exacerbated by the shitstorm of the last two years.

I'm out of that, and relearning & remembering stuff I haven't done for 20+ years, which is re-activating the brain instead of running on autopilot. The sparrow-fart starts are still smacking me around a bit (I've never been a morning person, so that aspect is a shock to the system), but aside from that I'm not dreading going to work anymore. I'm feeling pretty fucking alright for the first time in a long while. :)
 

Scotty T

Walks the walk
unexpected bonza
I know you probably meant bonanza but I love the word bonza (bonzer). Glad the new gig is working out.

My Mrs just went through the wringer with some shit people at work but coming out the other side. Without going into detail, the way she was treated was rough for a 49 year old and considering she is on a low level because of a career change, this could have been a much younger person without the experience or network to fight back against poor management, so she wanted to make sure it never happened again and it's looking that way.
 

Ultra Lord

Hurts. Requires Money. And is nerdy.
I know you probably meant bonanza but I love the word bonza (bonzer). Glad the new gig is working out.

My Mrs just went through the wringer with some shit people at work but coming out the other side. Without going into detail, the way she was treated was rough for a 49 year old and considering she is on a low level because of a career change, this could have been a much younger person without the experience or network to fight back against poor management, so she wanted to make sure it never happened again and it's looking that way.
Fuck em up Mrs Scotty T!
 

Plankosaurus

Spongeplank Dalepantski
This is probably the first time i've paid any attention to this thread, as a rule i find mental health confusing and difficult to relate to.

Recently tho, my wifey has gently nudged me along the path to get looked at for ADHD (i know, doesn't really fit the same stuff as usually discussed here. i think). a friend of hers got diagnosed and it piqued my interest a little, then when i said i think i should look into it, wifey swiftly kicked me up the ass and told me to get out there and do it (so possibly not the gentlest of nudges).

Just got back from my 3rd appointment up the chain, and they had absolutely zero doubt - i'm ADHD as fark, zero grey area.

I really had no proper idea about the condition previously, yeah i struggle to concentrate and vague out all the time, but always had it in my head that ADHD meant you were constantly bouncing off the walls which isn't always the case with me. tentatively went and saw the docs to discuss it (hardest part was that first step), they pointed me at a mental health practitioner who told me to see a psych and to look into the condition more, and the floodgates were opened.

The best thing is working out that i can cut myself a little slack, and that there's a very good reason behind a lot of the things i've struggled with as far back as i can remember. I've learnt a crazy amount about myself in the last few weeks of information and reflection. an overwhelming amount even that is super difficult to properly articulate and any attempt usually results in frustration as about 50 things try to get out all at once. started with a few "what is ADHD" videos, and started realizing i was ticking all the boxes, like ALL of them. then moved on to specific aspects, and strategies to combat the issues and just sat there nodding my head and laughing at all the stuff that i'm finding out a lot of other people are struggling with too.

There's a load thats been lifted today after the psych appointment. I can look forward to treatment, that i hear is spectacularly effective. and be more mindful of things, which i'm already finding effective. and just ease up on the self criticism, which is an amazing feeling.


There's probably a few burners out there with this, possibly in this thread (but you know, reading and finding it? nah)
I've found the "how to ADHD" series of videos super helpful. usually put them on in the car and listen to them while i'm driving (because sitting and watching them properly? nah)


Thanks boys and girls, good to get it out :D
 

creaky

XMAS Plumper
This is probably the first time i've paid any attention to this thread, as a rule i find mental health confusing and difficult to relate to.

Recently tho, my wifey has gently nudged me along the path to get looked at for ADHD (i know, doesn't really fit the same stuff as usually discussed here. i think). a friend of hers got diagnosed and it piqued my interest a little, then when i said i think i should look into it, wifey swiftly kicked me up the ass and told me to get out there and do it (so possibly not the gentlest of nudges).

Just got back from my 3rd appointment up the chain, and they had absolutely zero doubt - i'm ADHD as fark, zero grey area.

I really had no proper idea about the condition previously, yeah i struggle to concentrate and vague out all the time, but always had it in my head that ADHD meant you were constantly bouncing off the walls which isn't always the case with me. tentatively went and saw the docs to discuss it (hardest part was that first step), they pointed me at a mental health practitioner who told me to see a psych and to look into the condition more, and the floodgates were opened.

The best thing is working out that i can cut myself a little slack, and that there's a very good reason behind a lot of the things i've struggled with as far back as i can remember. I've learnt a crazy amount about myself in the last few weeks of information and reflection. an overwhelming amount even that is super difficult to properly articulate and any attempt usually results in frustration as about 50 things try to get out all at once. started with a few "what is ADHD" videos, and started realizing i was ticking all the boxes, like ALL of them. then moved on to specific aspects, and strategies to combat the issues and just sat there nodding my head and laughing at all the stuff that i'm finding out a lot of other people are struggling with too.

There's a load thats been lifted today after the psych appointment. I can look forward to treatment, that i hear is spectacularly effective. and be more mindful of things, which i'm already finding effective. and just ease up on the self criticism, which is an amazing feeling.


There's probably a few burners out there with this, possibly in this thread (but you know, reading and finding it? nah)
I've found the "how to ADHD" series of videos super helpful. usually put them on in the car and listen to them while i'm driving (because sitting and watching them properly? nah)


Thanks boys and girls, good to get it out :D
TLDR (got distracted) :D

Very interesting though and hope you have a positive experience in working through the issues. You've obviously got a more than functional life anyway so no harm in trying the treatment. You sound buoyed by the recognition of the issue, which is a great starting point.

What is the treatment likely to be, meds of some kind combined with educational program?
 

Rorschach

Didnt pay $250 for this custom title
Good to hear you got it looked into @Plankosaurus
My Psych often asks if I've had it looked into and I think its something I should look into as well

it really is a weight off your shoulders when someone else says 'this is normal'
We had our annual safety day a couple of weeks ago and a former colleague came in and gave a talk on Mental Health First Aid. After he was made redundant from us, he did a few things before having a fairly bad breakdown and while he's over that, he's now doing various bits. I had a bit of a chat with him after and it really is good to know you aren't alone.
 

Plankosaurus

Spongeplank Dalepantski
TLDR (got distracted) :D

Very interesting though and hope you have a positive experience in working through the issues. You've obviously got a more than functional life anyway so no harm in trying the treatment. You sound buoyed by the recognition of the issue, which is a great starting point.

What is the treatment likely to be, meds of some kind combined with educational program?
its funny, because i wrote it and now when i look at it my eyes want to glaze over :p

Both docs seem pretty keen to try me on stimulant meds and see how that flys. They're both pretty convinced i should see some marked improvements in focus and ability to get things done in pretty short order.

Yeah my life isn't a shitshow, but i think i can probably put that 99% down to wifey keeping it in order. I can definitely be better, and i'm really looking forward to it
 
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