Confessions from the fuckwits

Fred Nurk

No custom title here
On behalf of a mate:

His bike has been groaning and squeaking for a month. I told him it’s in the XT clutch, and it just needs a 5 min clean and grease.

Said it wasn’t, so he’s basically stripped the whole bike numerous times over the last month. Greasing every pivot, axle, hanger, new bb…the list goes on.

Was worse than ever this morning, so he was ready to throw it in the bushes. I asked him to humour me, and flick off the clutch.

Gonski.

No ‘thank you’ or ‘you were right’…but the dead silence (from both him and the bike), and the quiet fuming, was the best Christmas present I could ever hope for.
Wouldn't be the first to strip an entire bike trying to solve a creak coming from somewhere obvious.
 

Oddjob

Merry fucking Xmas to you assholes
If you knew Paul, you’d get it :rolleyes:
Kinda wish we were friends so I could dump you.
If I was looking for love in all the wrong places, I would do better than you and that baboon butt of yours.


Sent from my M2012K11AG using Tapatalk
 

imax

Likes Bikes
Decide to remove my rear wheel and leaving the chain on so I can replace my gorilla rim tape with the green one.
When the wheel came off as I turned my back I heard the chain-derailleur cocking noise like someone just loaded a weapon. Dodging the bullet I do the complete Tannus Armour rear wheel manoeuvres successfully.

Go to replace the rear wheel and find the chain has done an impossible upside-down twisted loop. Confinced I can crack the puzzle on an upside-down MTB without removing the chain I end up 20mins later feeling like a total imbecile. The derailleur had no spring action so I concluded its has broken and needs to be replaced with my spare Shimano XT derailleur still not explaining the twisted X chain.

Remove the chain and yes the derailleur is acting unusual with no spring action. Remove it and found the stoper that prevents the derailleur from doing a backflip was missing.

WTF how long have i been riding without one after stupidly noticing the derailleur was touching the cassette when removing the chain? Bang Bang endup with a hole in my head.
 
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Jpez

Down on the left!
This morning- shooting off a big snot rocket.
right into the armpit.

Yesterday- trusting the 6 year old when she says she can handle the high pressure hose at the car wash. Grabs the trigger, surprises her into a pirouette. First spin round tags high pressure soap wash across the nether regions. Second spin around she brought the nozzle up higher so i copped a face and chest full before I managed to yoink it from her hands. She thought it was the funniest thing she’s ever seen. Not entirely convinced it was an accident actually….
 

moorey

call me Mia
This morning- shooting off a big snot rocket.
right into the armpit.

Yesterday- trusting the 6 year old when she says she can handle the high pressure hose at the car wash. Grabs the trigger, surprises her into a pirouette. First spin round tags high pressure soap wash across the nether regions. Second spin around she brought the nozzle up higher so i copped a face and chest full before I managed to yoink it from her hands. She thought it was the funniest thing she’s ever seen. Not entirely convinced it was an accident actually….
I think I saw that.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CVIVuVDjkmq/?utm_medium=copy_link
 

cammas

Seamstress
Riding along last night noticed that there was change to the trail on a little loop that parks had complained about note to self watch out for changes.
Riding up some off camber turns and think to myself these plus tyres have some grip as I grind up this without a dab, noice.
Notice the change in the trail, okay go left here still climbing up the hill, next thing I’m laying on the ground, front wheel washed out :rolleyes:
Mind you this section use to be a descent, so the corner was a little blown out, well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it ;)
 

cammas

Seamstress
I seem to be on a roll at the moment but today takes the cake with a complete brain fade.

Needed to top up my sealant couldn’t find the tube for my syringe to squirt some Stans in, I had this other sealant hose but I knew it was shit as it doesn’t have thread on the end but I threaded on the presta adaptor, so ready to go.

First mistake, it’s hot here in Victoria ATM so let’s do it family room in air conditioned comfort. In my rush I get out the syringe fill it up and screw it on and depress the syringe, mmm…. resistance what is going on, I’ll push harder. Oh shit I didn’t let the air out this is not good, the syringe is starting to bubble! Now to get it off without sealant spraying everywhere, there was zero chance soon I relaxed on the syringe POP sealant sprayed everywhere, luckily the hose wasn’t tight on the syringe so it relieved some of the pressure but still not enough. Ok well that was a fail.

Second mistake, okay after realising the error of my ways I let out all the air and hook the syringe back to start again, still a little resistance this time I forgot to remove the core. So guess what, sealant leaked out and down the sidewalls, now if you remember I did this inside our family room, luckily Mrs Cammas was down the street which gave me time to clean it up.

Eventually I got sealant into the back tyre, luckily the front tyre had no such issues and took lees than 5 minutes to do, which is what the rear should have taken me.
 
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